A new conversation

It was almost too warm to sleep last night. The house would not cool off before the day began to heat. It has been that way since we got back from Seattle last week. It didn’t help that we both became ill shortly after returning. Lydia had leg cramps and nausea. I developed a persistent fever. It has taken us a full week to empty the luggage on the living-room floor.

We took the train to Seattle to see some baseball. It was our first venture out of town since I became ill. (I’m not ill in the sense that I have a disease, but rather in the more archaic sense of an unhealthy condition.) Though it was strenuous, we walked, used Uber three times without a word of English, had dinner out, complained twice about our breakfast preparation, mixed wine in our 7-Up when no one was looking, tipped generously, and had a glorious time on the Group D Bench (just checking to see if you are reading or just skimming.) Bought hot dogs, didn’t buy shirts.

That we got sick so soon after was disappointing, though certainly not a result of our travel. Statistics say correspondence does not imply correlation, or is it the other way round? It wasn’t the cause.

We spent a few sleepless nights and a very worrisome day. Lydia’s blood pressure peaked severely, and we considered getting her to emergency. I felt helpless and totally inadequate. I’ve not driven in weeks and cannot get my walker into the car alone. She was certainly too ill to help me. We discussed who to call. Josh’s wife was just from the hospital, and he was needed. Fortunately, Lyd began to recover, and we stepped back from the idea.

She’s much better now. We were left, however, with the realization of how close we were to no longer being self-sufficient, no longer being independent. We’ve deferred discussing it for now. We need more time to recoup and reflect. At some point we will need to concede to needing assistance, but not just yet.

I wonder how many of our friends are having similar talks; how they are facing the coming changes. What are their plans? Do they even have plans? It is a lonely business. How much less anxious would we feel if we discussed our plans with friends. How is the subject raised? We are not church people, nor are most of our friends. We lack that support group. Lydia is a member of a sorority however, a support group that has been the source of casseroles and cards when required over the years. They are strong, wonderful ladies who look after and support each other. Men don’t have that.

Over the last few years, we’ve looked to our future, financial well-being. I think now it is time to look to our social and emotional support.

I’m going to think on it and then start a conversation.

Blessings

The Road