The only sounds are of the occasional car passing as a neighbor heads off to work and the clicking of a clock here in the house. The gray days of winter in Oregon have started to settle in, but not the constant rains, yet. It has slowly become light out the window, but light only. Not the brilliance of a summer day beginning, but not the drear of winter, yet.

November is a bit of a pause, a chance for a deep breath and a quick reflection. Summer has definitely gone. The occasional dog days of October are past. The gray curtain of winter is coming, but not yet.

We continue to sort, toss, or pack the accumulation of 34 years in one place. How did we gather so much? The enthusiasm of the beginning has given way to monotony. I ordered a dumpster after arranging a permit to place it in front of the house. We take 10, figuratively, to gather ourselves, before we dive in again.

November is the seasonal balancing point. Halloween was two days ago, Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming. I’m sure that masks have been replaced by colored lights at the store. We are saying “that would make a great Christmas present” more often (though I make that remark throughout the year) but are taking no action. The buying is yet to begin.

I’m struck by the juxtaposition of buying gifts and the process of discarding old gifts. Much of this junk we are tossing was once a meaningful token. A shirt that no longer fits me (or should I say I no longer fit it), a worn leather wallet (that I pulled out much too often for the credit cards inside) that rode on my hip for many years. I replaced it with a gifted wallet but could not bring myself to throw the old wallet away. Things that are no longer of physical use have a meaning. “Someone once thought about me”.  I am reluctant to lose that feeling by throwing the reminder away. I guess I’m afraid, subconsciously, I will never recollect that happy incident again. Sounds sappy I know, and I am sure it is very un-Zen like to hold onto the past. Regret is the result, though I would argue that contentment is also a result. It is an issue I’ve yet to resolve. I will keep working at it.

In a few days we will gather ourselves and begin the culling process again. Summer has passed, and winter is coming. November is their balance.

In the meantime there is a fire in the fireplace and I’m making pancakes. It’s a good morning.

Blessings

The Road